A Birthday and Rebirth Day

Easter is such a sweet reminder of the promise of renewal all around us.

Sometimes it's easy to feel as though life is just a slow progression from birth to death, and that each passing day adds to the patina of nicks and bumps we acquire along the way. Every morning I wake up older: this is a fact. In this world the laws of physics dictate that things wear out, wind down and fall apart.

But oh, Easter! Oh, Spring! Out of death comes rebirth in a cycle as old as life itself, a cycle into which we are all inextricably tied. Winter ends and ice melts. Seeds germinate and bulbs sprout. Yes, every Easter I am one year older, but inside... I am reborn.




Our celebration this year was small and lovely. No big fanfare, no egg hunt, no sunrise service... just the Zoglmans and Nana and Jordan, enjoying a lovely breakfast and spending some time in what I call the Church of Outdoors.
















Every Spring I get excited about new life, but this year I got to celebrate one new life in particular: Maya Rose, our dear little baby friend, turned one on April 9th! It has been such a privilege to watch her learn and grow over the last year. We love you, Rosey.

Our wonderful friends-- and Maya's lucky parents-- hosted a party for the birthday girl, complete with cupcakes, bubbles, and a horde of babies.

Perhaps for Geneva's first juice-box experience I should have picked something less extreme than JUICE BLAST! It's kind of blowing her mind...

We've all experienced this: your child learns some new trick, something that is sure to impress your friends and cement in their minds that your child is a genius. So you say "okay, kid, show us your new trick!"
...and this is the face you get:

Arg, I hate this. I'm sitting at the computer, practically in tears because despite having been working on this blog post for two hours-- and typing shockingly few words during that time-- I still haven't been able to convey how truly special these days were to me. World, I wish you knew what a blessing it is, deep down in my very core, to see the seasons turn and babies grow. I guess words will never be enough.

Passionate Loafer

I have boundless admiration for people who work hard at whatever they do, whether it's a career or a hobby or an art. I've always wanted to be one of those people who never seemed to sit still, who blaze through the house like a tornado in reverse and leave a trail of organization and creative genius in their wake. My personality seems to fit the role-- I'm passionate to an extreme degree, I see my home as my own personal blank canvas, and I like waking up fairly early. But you know what, folks?

I am lazy.

There, after two decades of being in denial, I'm finally committing it to print. Laugh if you like; this is not easy. Seriously. At every turn in my life, I try to make the choice that a hardworking person would make, and I've been telling myself that this means I'm a hard worker, too. I've been hauling around two decades' worth of guilt over silly things that it turns out I really enjoy doing:

staring out of the window and watching the neighbors
taking two hours to finish a cup of tea
extending my shower by a good ten minutes after I've finished washing
poking around on the internet and reading cheesy advice columns
looking at my own photo albums ad nauseum
hemming and hawing about what shoes to wear
eating food because I'm bored

Without getting too introspective, here's the conclusion I've reached: somewhere along the line I seem to have decided that lazy activities have less value than hardworking activities, when in truth I think I need a good helping of both in my life. I'll still try my very best to be an industrious person, but I have decided to stop flagellating myself for those moments when I realize I've just been blissfully spacing out. With those moments occurring less and less frequently anyway, I'll chalk it up to a quality of life issue and just enjoy it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to ignore the laundry while eating ice cream and staring at the TV.

Nothing says white "trash" quite like...

... keeping a chicken brooder in the guest bedroom!

Mobility: a photo essay

One girl's journey across the nursery...

A Project

It's on the internet, so it must be official: my yard sale to benefit Partners in Health is becoming reality! I have the massive pile of donations in my basement and my advertisement on Craigslist to prove it (http://yakima.craigslist.org/gms/1671181115.html).

I'm actually terrified-- terrified of thugs stealing all of my merchandise in the night, or maybe terrified of crazy garage sale shoppers stampeding across my yard and leaving a swath of destruction in their wake. But beneath the terror is a queasy, stage-fright feeling that's something like excitement. I feel like this project is somehow bigger or more important than I even realized it would be.

I hope people show up.

What's better than sleep?

No, not that, you sicko!


Yoga. Even yoga in the basement at 6:00 in the morning.

I've had the occasional opportunity to sleep through the night since Geneva has been born, although never with any predictability or regularity. After these rare occurrences I'm usually pretty bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next day. It makes me miss those days when I took for granted that sleep is just what you do at night. I figured that feeling of morning alertness was a relic of the past, or else a distant, glimmering hope waiting for me many years and babies down the road. I certainly didn't think I'd find it in a 6:00 wake-up call.

I actually meant to start this new routine yesterday morning, and failed spectacularly by sleeping right through the alarm-- not turning it off in a groggy stupor and going back to bed, not "accidentally" ignoring it, but slumbering on in a borderline comatose state for a full hour. So this morning that clock radio went off LOUDLY, and I did indeed wake up.

I should explain here that I do consider myself a morning person. This, however, means different things in different seasons. I tend to wake up with the daylight if left to my own devices, and there was none of that to be had as I shuffled down the stairs into the basement. Thinking ahead, I had already put the yoga dvd into the dvd player the night before and had slept in my workout clothes, anticipating that in my grumpy, chilly state I was likely to be foiled by the smallest of obstacles. I entered into this new routine with the attitude of "okay, I'll do it, but I don't have to like it."

But I do like it, I do! I have so missed that feeling of using my whole body, of challenging my muscles to work and to relax at the same time, of concentrating on my breathing, concentrating on my attitude. Last night was not great, sleep-wise; Geneva woke up three times and it took some convincing to get her to go back down, but today I have felt more energetic and alert and strong than I have in a long time. I already can't wait until tomorrow morning. It's seriously better than sleep.

It would be remiss of me to claim credit for this early morning motivation, when in truth I was inspired by my friends Heather and Allison. To be brave enough to change one's eating and exercise habits is one thing, but to do so in the oh-so-public eye of the internet is another thing entirely! I really admire what thes ladies are doing and appreciate them letting me piggyback on their enthusiasm. I also love that they're doing this for all the right reasons: not to conform to a pre-determined size or shape, but to become healthier and stronger and, okay, maybe a little less soft in certain places. Those are my goals exactly.

Pinkerton

That's what I call my little Geneva... and this is why:





I've never seen a rosier baby. Just wanted to share :)

Haiti

Today I went out for coffee with a friend and fellow mom. It was a relief to get out of the house, and we talked about how difficult it is to feel like we're doing something productive when we spend our days at home with our babies. I've been feeling a little bit stir crazy lately, and it was nice to hear I'm not alone. I certainly don't mean to say that raising a baby is the same as doing nothing-- it's just maddening to work all day and have no finished product, no meaningful contact with the outside world, no measurable success aside from a kid who is infinitesimally bigger, stronger, and smarter than she was the day before. I miss giving a part of myself to the world beyond the walls of my house.

As I was driving home I turned on the radio and listened to an interview with Jason Beaubein and Melissa Block on NPR. Beaubein was relating his experience in Port au Prince, and as he described the scene outside the Villa Creole Hotel there was an odd moment of silence. I glanced at the radio, wondering if my reception was on the fritz, but then the reporter spoke again. His voice was ragged and broken; he had been crying.

He went on to describe the girl he saw lying in the driveway of the hotel, naked except for bandages and a tablecloth. He described how the chaos and destruction seemed to intensify as he moved closer to the center of the capital city. He told of the refugees who had traveled 100 miles to the border of the Dominican Republic to seek medical aid. By the time I pulled into my driveway, I was crying too. I couldn't get the image of the bleeding, broken little girl under the tablecloth out of my head. I kept flinging frantic glances at Geneva, sleeping in her carseat, safe and intact. If I thought I'd felt helpless as a cooped-up parent, it was nothing compared to how I felt at that moment as I sobbed in the car.

But helpless is something I'm not.

I probably won't know what happens to that little girl, but I will do what I can to help the thousands of other Haitians like her. I'm not talking about money out of pocket, although I will certainly donate what I can. I want to organize the resources of my community to do some good in a part of the world that has seen more than its fair share of tragedy. I want to give a piece of myself.

So, now the work begins! Not being sure where to start, I thought I'd share my thoughts with the world wide web. I guess I'm hoping to remind everyone that every tiny contribution to the humanitarian effort in Haiti adds up to something huge. In the meantime, I'm brainstorming. Wish me luck!



Here's a link to the story I was listening to:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122580370

...and here's a link to a list of charities involved in the earthquake relief, compiled by NPR:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122521163

2009 In Review

The bigger the word, the more frequently I wrote it. Here's what I've been blogging about in 2009!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I realized when I started this blog that I would never be one of those people who posted every day... but I kind of figured I'd post more than once a month! Oh well-- I guess anyone out there who has been waiting around for updates can take comfort in the fact that these intervening stretches of time are always filled with a lot of living and joy. That couldn't be more true now that it is officially Christmastime! Right now I'm listening to Jingle Bell Rock (through the ceiling; I'm in the basement) and wanting very much to be cuddled up by the tree with a cup of cocoa and a blanket, but I'm also excited to share some pictures of our first holiday season with the little bunny so I'm braving the chilly basement. Cocoa can wait-- or rather, the dinner dishes can wait, which is realistically what I'd likely be doing right now.

By now it feels like it happened months ago, rather than just a few weeks, but Avery and I successfully hosted Thanksgiving for the first time! It was a full house, but fortunately we were able to get the basement room in usable shape so that the kids had somewhere to romp. The food was delicious and the company was, of course, beyond compare :) My only regret is that it went so quickly! Could we as a nation institute The Twelve Days of Thanksgiving? That would suit me just fine.

Here is the one picture I took of the actual event.

We also got the chance to gather at Jason and Allison's house for dessert, and to celebrate Holland's third birthday. It was especially neat for me to see all of the kids together because this was the first time that Geneva was able to really interact with the herd of cousins on her own. Granted, it was in an extremely limited way, but she wasn't on anyone's lap-- she was right down there in the thick of it. For some reason that seemed monumental to me. She's officially one of them now :)






I used to roll my eyes at the people who immediately launched from Thanksgiving to Christmas without missing a beat. Of course I have now become one of those people. Especially with a baby, I find myself thinking that a month just isn't long enough to cram in all of the Christmas baking and decorating and reveling that I'd like to do. Even now, with only four days left until the 25th, I feel like there's still so much more I want to do to celebrate. Shoot, I only just now heard "You're a Mean One, Mister Grinch" for the first time this season! But I certainly can't complain. We've had such a blast already (thanks entirely to wonderful friends and family!). We've made gingerbread houses, one adorable house with Jen and Owen, and another structurally unsound (and currently roofless) house made from scratch by Ave and myself. We've decorated gingerbread men with Allison and the boys, and we've visited the carousel at Westlake Center with Nana, which could only have been more wonderful if Geneva had been awake for that part. We played in the snow, went to see the Christmas train display at the railroad museum, sat on Santa's lap, and made some really knock-your-socks-off yummy shortbread cookies with Allison and Maya. And, despite having Christmas music playing at some point during each and every day, I'm not tired of caroling yet!

Some of our favorite moments this season have been quiet and peaceful. Others have been chaotic. Here are some pictures of both!

Cuddles with Daddy

We tried to take some family portraits, and this was the best we could manage. Also, Avery lied-- you CAN tell that that's a maternity sweater!

I think the gingerbread house turned out perfectly! Aren't they supposed to look like a kid had a hand in the decorating? Jen piped on the icing, Owen attached the candies, and I... what did I do? I guess I prevented too many candies from disappearing into Owen's sticky little mouth.

Here's a look at our house all gussied up for the holidays!

Probably my favorite little day trip with Geneva was our visit to the Northern Pacific Railroad Museum in Toppenish. It was cute without being glitzy, bustling without being loud, and there were just enough exhibits that Geneva didn't get overwhelmed before the end. Plus we got to ride a train to see Santa Claus! We rode it all of fifty yards, but still. I love trains.
The Hogwarts Express!




And here we are back home. My big girl can play in the bouncer now!


This is sort of random, but worth mentioning, because this is the first thing I ever crafted to fill a very specific need in our house. Most of the things I make are just for my own enjoyment, but with the weather down below zero at night we really needed a way to keep the draft out of Geneva's room. I pounded this sucker out in about half an hour. My craftiness is now officially a life skill!

Our most recent trip over to Seattle included snuggles at Nana's house, a trip downtown to Westlake Center, and Family Sing with the Labbees.







Our kitty, Io. He's peeking out of the kitchen window at the birds on the birdfeeder.


We might be a little out of our element on this side of the mountains, but one of the many upsides is that you can always count on Eastern WA to deliver when it comes to fun winter weather. It's mostly slush now, but we did get about four inches of snow last week which made for beautiful walks and a very appropriate backdrop for all of the Christmas lights around the neighborhood. Geneva and I spent some time at Franklin Park, where most of these pictures are from.







And finally, this weekend we had the opportunity not only to see Santa Claus, but to see Santa Claus with Geneva's best baby buddy Maya Rose! And as if that weren't cool enough, we then got to come home and make cookies with Maya and Allison. Later, Avery helped me to frost the cookies and we ended up having a really fun time with that. All and all, one of my absolute favorite days this winter.

This is probably the last you'll hear from us until after Christmas, so we hope yours is a merry one! Be safe, warm and happy. We love you all!